I’ve refrained from posting about this season because A) I didn’t feel like it B) It was really a lot of happenings this season, and when you’re behind a week on the “stories” (RHOA), it can be hard to catch up. So much to say.. so little time. I’ll try to hit what I could remember.
STICKS AND DIRT VS. WOOD THAT AIN’T GOOD
Listen, no one cares who’s going to get their house done first between Kenya and Sheree. What we do care about is epic reading sessions like we got the first few episodes this season. One thing about Sheree, she NEVER goes down without a fight, and when Delusion meets DeCrazy, the only thing for sure is it’s going to be a viewers delight!
Winner: I hate to give Sheree the L because she’s an OG, but the rule’s are in a reading session the first person who attempts to get physical means they were so bothered and pressed by what the other one was saying that the time for talking is over. Kenya wins.
We get our first true glance at co-dependent Kimmy. A book, a boat, what else do you need… Oh, that’s right! A bitch! Sometimes you can be on the wrong side of the word bitch. Cynthia did indeed snap, but Porsha did insinuate violence yet again. If I remove myself from a situation, and the situation follows ME, you’re getting more than an ET sized finger in your face. You’ll also be getting my foot up your ass.
Winner: Cynthia, Porsha loses because she definitely did escalate this to a violent level.
Watch out lil bih by 2 Chainz is definitely the theme song of this trip. Kim Fields’ meltdown was EPIC. Girls having fun, drinking, sleeping with random guys, and ENJOYING their vacation sounds about par the course for you know.. vacations, and Tootie was having NONE of that! You could tell she was looking for a way out, and when Glen Rice Jr wouldn’t give Kenya any dick, there was her escape. For the record, I’m not going to say ANYTHING about Glen because I stay in Atlanta, and I value my safety. I don’t have the luxury of bodyguards intervening after I put a man out of my house because he won’t give me any dick. I will say it was nice to see Porsha and Kenya bond over their love of being whores on vacation and they would actually get along a lot better if there wasn’t things like you know.. a public beat down between the two that Bravo can play at any time they desire. Also, honorable mention to Tammy. She provided the most epic moments of the season A) being passed out on the floor B) waiting at the DOH for her shit that security had already taken to the hotel.
Winner: Tammy. Because THAT is how you make an impact in 3 episodes or less!
PHAEDRA VS. KANDI/TODD
Listen, I totally understand that financial dealings with friends isn’t always the best thing. Especially when your friend tends to be a lying sack of shit every Sunday night at 8 PM. Phaedra’s that friend that you KNOW is a hoe, but you also KNOW has your back. So when an undercover, sneaky, lying, conniving, low-down whorish bestie does you wrong, what do you do? Let your man call her out on national TV. Phaedra has been caught in lie after lie over the years. Ayden’s due date, butt-dialing Cynthia, allegedly not knowing about Apollo’s dealings, KENYA MOORE. The list goes on and on until infinity, and right by her side, true blue and tight like glue was Kandi Buruss (sorry Kim, I had to get that in there somewhere). Never spilling tea, supporting the lies. However, this season Bravo made it a point to show unaired footage of Phaedra and Todd watching the video, so I’m not sure if the Southern Belle can fried chicken wing her way out of this one.
Hmm… I’ll make this one short, if I were in charge NeNe wouldn’t have returned until next season. The girls have worked had to ensure that they could carry the show, and in my opinion although we love our favorite moose, this proves the network’s doubt of having their head peach take a season on the bench. I also am happy to see NeNe and Cynthia be friends again, but not at the expensive of Cynthia’s friendship with Kenya. If I were Kenya I would have nothing to do with Cynthia and insist that Marlo be brought in to film because Cynthia definitely threw her away like Bravo did Claudia after they got what they needed (in Claudia’s case, someone to read the hell out of NeNe for next to nothing).
Winner: The jury’s still out on this one…
Tootie. Regine. Baby. You’re a true conflict on my spirit. Your sense of womanhood is refreshing on this show. A lady who TRULY values what’s important to her is something to be appreciated. However, your constant whining is really annoying. Let your afro down and have some fun girlfriend! I agree with you on the trip in DC (which doesn’t get it’s own section because.. why?), that wasn’t for someone who could comprehend the depth of those conversations like Sebastian can, excuse them from the room and ask Phae Phae can you go half on her sitter’s day-rate and rejoin the conversation,
Winner: No one yet but I have a feeling Jamaica solidifies whether Kim is returning or if she will be a one and done