You So Old, Dry, and Late! #RHOA 1/11/15

 

Who’s late, who has edges, and who is dry!?

Baby, we have waited 10 fucking episodes for the petty to begin, and bitch Puerto Rico was worth the wait. The shade was so thick it wasn’t not nan piece of Sun gonna burn these bitches on this trip. Lets start with the MVP of last night’s episode.

CLAUDIA

Baby, I’ve been saying all along that there is a turning point as to when Claudia earned her peach. Claudia stood up on her onions and bunions and proceeded to snatch Nene’s wig, boil it with some Top Ramen chicken flavoring, and put it right back on the Queen Bee’s head. Claudia had no time for some country Athens bumpkin giving her the business, bitch, spell bridesmaids! Oop! Claudia made girls gag, clutch their pearls, and hide their peaches, because it was only right to give her one after the FIRST dinner of the trip.

HONORALBLE MENTION

DEMETRIA

Let’s be real. Everyone had opinions about Demetria’s entrance, and yes, I even sort of, kind of, MAYBE read her for filth after Kandi Koated set that ass up at the sex party. But Roger’s Bobb’s maybe baby Bankhead bounced right back this week reading Shady Phae Phae like a Terry McMillian novel. Phaedra was fueled by haterade all last night and baby, Demetria bought her ass to Puerto Rico, fed Phaedra’s ass on Roger Dodger’s dime, and then cleared that raggedy heifer over grilled chicken and mashed potatoes! “You so old, and late, and dry!” heeeeey Dallas!

 

1 Convicted Felon + 7 Unnecessary Reads = THE NUMBER 8, BIYOTCH!

Baby, the newbies are the Real Housewives of Atlanta tag team champions of getting bitches together. Let’s skip the remaining 23 episodes and get to this reunion because you KNOW Phaedra Parks Esq. is practicing her read for Demetria with sweet baby Ayden. If we can’t skip to the reunion, I guess I’ll occupy my time eating this bowl of Ramen noodles in anticipation; chicken flavor.

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